This post has been many months in formation, mainly because I lacked the inspiration to write it and I really did not want to give into Nathan’s insinuation that all I ever talk about is love and relationships. (Love makes the world go round, right Nathan? Or was that money? I forget…)

A friend recently broke up with her beau. It was not surprising. In fact we had seen it for close to 5 months. (Notice how I said we). The thing is although we see it coming, it does not make it any easier dealing with the feelings of rejection (especially if you were the dumped) or frustration (because we failed to keep it going), regret (because you invested a lot into the relationship) and so on.

In fact, I think about the only thing that people agree on is that the time they spent investing in the relationship, they won’t ever get back. Precious thing, this thing called time.

My question is, when you are going through you deep dark depressive moments, do you miss the person or do you miss the things you used to do with the person?

Interesting question. Every time I ask it, I get very fascinating answers, most of them stemming from the fact that people are in denial and just don’t want to actually acknowledge that their “missing” is actually as a result of expecting/experiencing pre-determined activities.

I will not waste any more of your time. I present what I miss about not having a boyfriend.

  1. Having that one person you can squeal on your friends to.
  2. Having alternate people to hang with as opposed to your own set of family and friends.
  3. Having a warped view of life present through conversations.
  4. Conversations
  5. Talking someone into buying you stuff you don’t sincerely want
  6. knowing that you wont stand awkwardly at the party by yourself in a corner
  7. Knowing there’s that one person who doesn’t care that you cant sing or dance but doesn’t mind that you will occasionally attempt to do both
  8. Having a person to burn food for  and they have no choice but to eat it and say it tastes nice
  9. Having some one to comfortably sit with in silence
  10. Having someone you can call up to say something silly about what’s going on with you… like how good your nails look
  11. Having someone you can share your goals with and vice versa
  12. Having someone who actually listens to you
  13. Weighing in on decisions in someone else’s life
  14. Being with someone who sincerely likes you
  15. Being with someone who will laugh with you and not at you
  16. Being with someone who makes you laugh more than cry
  17. knowing this someone has limits and so do you and learning what to do with those limits to compliment each other

I think 17 is a good number to stop at.

think 17 is a good number to stop at.


Comments on: "What I miss about not having a boyfriend." (12)

  1. hehe, i like #7!!!

    I think after breakups we tend to miss a bit off both. the things we did and the person we did them with.

  2. hardcorekancil said:

    Having someone who won’t mind being texted at 2am under the pretense that you just had the brightest idea ever. (like er, painting your walls red to celebrate Chinese New Year)

  3. being able to call someone at 3am just to rant…

    and yes conversation is very good…. talking for hours to no end… and then peeps ask, what the heck do you guys talk about and you have that cheeky smile on your face… ok enough of that…

    i so feel no.9

    how is your friend dealing with the break up?

  4. Having some one you can inconvenience at leisure and they won’t be mad at you.

    Some one to cuddle and watch movies with…

    just my thoughts on missing a girlfriend.

    You need to get hooked up soon and cover up those gaps.

  5. I like #10, #12, ####etc

    Interesting question you posed there : “…when you are going through you deep dark depressive moments, do you miss the person or do you miss the things you used to do with the person?…”

    There was this girl…I saw her last Saturday and I thought of how it was so good to be with her again, even if briefly. Sometimes I think abt the crazy things we did together….So I guess both- the person and the things.

  6. awwww how sweeeet!- so mushy and all….how about just there being someone who you want everyone else to approve of….or who does stuff that enables you feel what embarrassment can be…shhhhffffff……and you still want to be associated with them……

  7. I don’t know about this list…. but #12 I’m really taking exception with.

  8. is the qn supposed to be “what i miss about having a boyfriend”…without the “not”? or am i the one who’s dyslexic?

  9. Awww, Tandra! This is a sweet, mushy post! Also, very informative. Hmm.
    I like! I like!

  10. i really don’t know,
    think it depends on that factor called time.(the when!)

  11. Dope…
    12, 13, 14, 15 and 17
    espeshlee 17

    3a.m to rant huh!

  12. Miss Cheri said:

    Chick, MONEY makes the world go rouund.

    Love brings the world to it’s collective knee.

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